Trying to conceive can be an emotional rollercoaster. Over the past year, my partner and I have been navigating this journey ourselves, and I’ve come to realise how much it can affect mental wellbeing, both personally and professionally.
The experience isn’t just about the disappointment of negative pregnancy tests or the monthly cycle of hope and heartbreak. It’s also about the social pressures, subtle comments from family and friends, and the cultural expectations that can make you feel isolated or like you’re “falling behind.” For many, even well-meaning questions from friends and family, for example: “when will I be an aunt/uncle?” or “so-and-so already has kids, what about you?” are common. While often innocent, these remarks can add another layer of stress.
At work, these experiences can impact focus, concentration, and energy. I found myself obsessively tracking cycles, symptom-spotting, and comparing my journey to others. On some days, it was hard to fully engage in work, and I know I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.
The complexity beyond trying to conceive
Fertility journeys often involve difficult decisions that go far beyond “just trying.” Couples may need to consider treatments such as IUI (intrauterine insemination) or IVF (in vitro fertilisation), each bringing its own emotional, physical, and financial challenges. Questions about affordability, success rates, multiple rounds of treatment, and potential side effects can weigh heavily on someone’s mind.
Even for those who haven’t yet started treatment, the mere consideration of these options can be stressful. The process can feel isolating, particularly when colleagues or managers aren’t aware of what someone is going through. The mental load extends beyond appointments – there’s planning, research, medical decisions, and sometimes feelings of guilt or self-blame when progress isn’t linear.
What Employers can do to help support those on their fertility journey
Fertility journeys are deeply personal, and colleagues or managers may never know what someone is going through. Employers can play a crucial role in providing support:
- Encourage empathy, not assumptions: Avoid quick judgments about productivity or mood. Everyone faces different challenges, many of which aren’t visible.
- Flexible time and leave options: Fertility appointments, treatments, or simply taking a wellbeing day (at Thrive we get 2 wellbeing days in addition to our annual leave) can make a big difference. Consider paid or unpaid leave options, flexible hours, or remote work during stressful periods.
- Create a supportive culture: Training for managers on fertility awareness and wellbeing can help foster understanding. Normalise conversations about reproductive health without forcing disclosure.
- Access to wellbeing resources: Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs), counselling, and peer support groups can offer confidential guidance and emotional support.
How Thrive Law can help:
At Thrive Law, we work with organisations to create policies and environments that genuinely support employees during challenging times. From reviewing leave policies to providing training on mental health and fertility awareness, we help employers take practical steps that make a meaningful difference.
Supporting staff through fertility journeys isn’t just about managing time off, it’s about creating a culture where employees feel seen, valued, and supported through one of life’s most challenging experiences. Small adjustments, open communication, and empathy can transform a difficult period into one where people feel they can continue thriving at work.
If you’re an employer, consider whether your policies and workplace culture provide meaningful support for employees navigating fertility. And if you’re an employee on your own fertility journey, know that seeking guidance or support is ok, you are not alone, and your wellbeing matters. For more information or guidance, reach out to our team at: enquiries@thrivelaw.co.uk
