Returning to work after parental leave is a transition that people might underestimate until they live it.
You feel as if you are expected to slot back into professional life as if nothing has changed, while almost everything has. Your time looks different (non-existent). Your energy looks different (also non-existent). Your brain feels different.
And yet, we place so much pressure on ourselves that we expect to simply pick up where we left off.
Having returned to work at Thrive Law after my second baby, I have noticed how small changes in an employer’s approach can make a huge difference to how supported, capable, and confident a returning parent feels.
- Build in breaks and phased returns that actually work
A phased return should not be treated as a nice extra or an inconvenience; it is one of the most effective ways to support performance.
Returning parents are rebuilding stamina and confidence; broken sleep, childcare logistics, and the mental load of parenting do not disappear the moment someone logs back on. Gradually increasing hours or responsibilities gives people space to adjust while still doing meaningful work.
Even once someone’s back, breaks are crucial to a returning parent. Those breaks might be to breastfeed or check the nursery app, or they might be to rock a baby to sleep. They might just be to sit and enjoy the unusually quiet living room. Whatever it is, breaks are vital in making parents feel human again.
There is a difference between having flexibility written down and feeling able to use it. Employers should make sure that their culture supports and encourages breaks; and doesn’t quietly frown upon them.
- Offer clarity
One of the most draining parts of returning to work can be not knowing what is expected of you.
It’s crucial to discuss what the first few weeks might look like and have a clear plan, before the return commences. Making expectations clear, especially around office attendance and working hours, can lessen the inevitable anxiety returning parents will feel. For me, KIT days were instrumental here in discussing what I wanted my return to look like, and what Thrive expected of me in those first few weeks.
Clear priorities, defined objectives, and honest conversations about what really matters help parents focus their (limited) energy where it counts.
- Normalise the reality of life outside work
Returning parents should not feel they have to pretend nothing has changed. Because for them, everything has changed and their brains are consumed with thoughts of nap times, feeding schedules, and the Baby Sensory song.
Normalising conversations about childcare, disrupted sleep, school pickups, or nursery bugs creates inclusion safety. It makes it easier for people to ask for support early, and helps employers to spot patterns or identify issues early, rather than that parent struggling silently until things reach breaking point.
This is not oversharing. It is about having a culture and conversations which reflect how your employees actually live.
- Be patient…
Returning employees are not less capable. They are adjusting.
For me, the imposter syndrome is a daily occurrence. My confidence is lessened, and I’ve also noticed a dip in my ability to focus for long periods of time. I also need repeated reminders on how things work, or how processes have been updated whilst I’ve been gone. But, all of that is normal, and I’m grateful because I work in a team who lead with kindness and understanding.
Patience looks like check ins without micromanaging, employers giving space to find your rhythm, and trust that the employee’s capability will re-emerge quickly in the right environment.
Pressure too early often slows people down. A bit of patience usually delivers better long term performance.
- … But do not underestimate them!
This is also a common mistake employers make.
In an attempt to be supportive, the work given to the parent might be diluted or responsibility reduced. Opportunities might be paused, sometimes without discussion.
That can be very demotivating.
I was promoted on both of my maternity leaves. Returning to meaningful, challenging work was a key part of rebuilding my confidence and my professional identity. Being trusted with increased responsibility sent a clear message to me that my value had not diminished.
Giving someone too little to do can be just as damaging as giving them too much; it’s a balancing act that should be reached with the parent’s input and alongside honest conversations about capacity, ambition, and progression, rather than making assumptions.
Final thought
Supporting people returning from parental leave is not about lowering the bar. It is about removing unnecessary barriers.
When employers get this right, they do not just retain parents. They retain experience, loyalty, and future leaders.
And that benefits everyone.
How we can help
Supporting people back to work after parental leave is not about box ticking. It requires thoughtful design, clear processes, and managers who understand what good support actually looks like.
We can work with employers to design meaningful return to work programmes, review policies and processes, train managers and senior leaders, and help ensure that the support works in practice, not just on paper.
If you would like to talk about how this could work in your organisation, please get in touch by emailing: enquiries@thrivelaw.co.uk
